The
U.S. is the country with the highest rate of domestic violence
homicides of any industrialized nation. The vast majority of females
murdered in the U.S. are murdered by an intimate partner; in 2010 39% of
the perpetrators were intimate partners. We say we don't aspire to be
leaders in this way, but in order to reduce domestic violence homicides
we have to care about women. Our actions as a society indicate we don't,
and also don't seem to have a will to change that.
In the article written by Melissa Jeltsen for Huffington Post on Laura's murder, Sheriff Bob Grudek
stated that he didn't think it was "logical or responsible" for the
justice system to solve the problem. He suggested that we look at why
women stay, assuming that women who are abused don't act on their behalf
in lots of ways. This attitude, this blatant disregard for the value of
women's lives, and the enormous amount of energy Laura and every other
victim of domestic violence expends to protect themselves is the core of
the problem.
The
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has been working for over
35 years to provide services to victims of domestic violence. Every day
we hear from victims who have used every available option they have or
know about to stop the violence. Every day we hear about how the system
fails them, by not holding abusers accountable for their violence, not
enforcing restraining order violations, not taking guns from abusers
with convictions or active restraining orders and not protecting
children at risk during custody hearings.
If
we want to reduce domestic violence homicides, we must begin to behave
as if women's lives have value. We must demand that when someone is in
danger, and they take the step to reach out and ask for help, that we
implement fully, universally, consistently and immediately significant
consequences for those who hurt someone they say they love. Over the
last 20 years we have passed many laws in every state, as well as
nationally, to increase protections and services for victims of domestic
violence. Far too often, those laws never get enforced well, and the
myth that women go back and that is the real problem continues to be
spoken out loud.
The
reality is that most victims of domestic violence do leave, sometimes
multiple times, and the person who is responsible for all the damage,
pain and costs won't give up. He continues to stalk, harass and hurt her
after she leaves. Both Nicole and Laura did leave, tried to protect
themselves and their children, wanted the violence to stop.
Unfortunately, what they didn't understand was that as a society, we
didn't care enough about them to do our part in protecting them. Until
we fully value women, domestic violence and sexual assault will continue
to be common every day tragedies. We have the power to change that, and
it's time we made the effort.
RELATED LINKS
http://www.ncadv.org
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